Tomorrow (08-31-08) will mark the 6th anniversary of your death and not a day goes by that we don't miss you terribly. The sound of your voice, your hilarious sense of humor, your amazing lust for life.
While I know you'll always be with us, I'm sad that you're not here... not here to see my girls grow up, not here to talk with about everyday things, not here to do our traditional rendition of Blue Christmas, not here to bug about who you're havin' sex with now (lol). It's almost like you knew that your time here would be cut a little short, like you knew time wasn't on your side... so you lived life.... to the fullest. The good, the bad and all that lies between. In your oh so brief 21 years, you accomplished so much.... more than I had at the time. :-)
It’s times like these that I find myself trying to make sense of the situation… trying to find what I’m supposed to learn… and if there's anything that I will take from all the nonsense, it's the importance of letting those around you know just how much they mean to you and how much you love them, of appreciating each and every day, and the importance of living life everyday.
I am so grateful for the last few hours we spent together... the drinks, the laughs, the talks we had... I know that God has a plan and yet in all honesty, I don't know that I will ever be able to truly feel that I didn't have some part in the awful ending.... but we all know you... and once you set your mind on something, there was no changing it... you stubborn ass... and so you were off... to another adventure…. In more ways than one I guess.
I miss your smile, I miss your laugh, I miss your voice, I miss your companionship... something that as had as I try, I will never be able to replace... there's nothing like the bond between siblings.... between true friends. Occasionally I'll read the poem we chose for your funeral program and I find a bit of peace....
All Is Well - unknown
Death is nothing at all; I have only slipped away into the next room. I am I, and you are you; whatever we were to each other, that we still are. Call me by my old familiar name; speak to me in the easy way you always used. Put no difference into your tone; wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow. Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together. Play, smile, think of me. Life means all that it ever meant. It is the same as it always was; there is absolutely unbroken continuity. I am but waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near; just around the corner... All is well.
I am so grateful for the time we had together... so privileged to have called you my brother.... We love you with all our hearts. We all move on with our lives, just as you would have wanted us to, and yet it's hard not to think about the what if's... it's just not the same here without you.
So until we meet again, I’ll see you in my dreams. Rest in peace my brother…my friend.
With all my love!
Jeffery Anthony Fisher
12-17-1980 ~ 08-31-2002
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